For Better Forever

For Better Forever by Dr. Gregory and Lisa Popcak
exceptionalmarriages.com
NFP: ccli.org
Gift: what you should be to your spouse
Grow together in your Xtian identity
Invite each other to experience original unity
Foster companionate and romantic love
Treasure the sacred power of marital intimacy
St. Paul: See those Xtians, see how they love.
original unity God intended for man and woman
sacrament: the power to sanctity, grow in rel with JC
a vital and deep love for prayer life, HS
your faith changes everything, makes each of you God's gift to each other
self-donation: a kind of love, heroic generosity, completely loving to the other
What do you need from me?
4 components:
Grow
Invite
Foster
Treasure
marriage as growing together in Xtian identity
the values you wanna uphold & stand for
living up ideals and values
who I wanna be known for
daily life and choices reflected by those values
how to apply what the church teaches
strong identity or not
values reflected in choices & actions
eternal wedding feast
a clear sense of mission & helping each other live it out
a marital mission statement: spouse & children
list 3 or 4 most impt qualities
1. love
2. joy
4. self-control
3. compassion
5. humor
6. generosity
1. LOVE: patient with me
2. RESPECT: understanding his personality, where he is coming from
3. ACCEPTANCE BUILDING UP ONE ANOTHER
separate but complementary ways to nourish each other
marital grace, embrace
be JC to your spouse
learn to be those things he needs you to be
men and women are fully masculine and feminine when they are loving
an invitation from God to be the person He wants us to be
companionate love: deep friendship, core of rel, heater and a fireplace (char, homey, cozy), kps warm and comfy
romantic love burns up a lot of energy, time
you don't have to live up to each other's hip pockets
gives me an excuse to be with you, share exps (ftball)
JP II: self donation
be your spouse's bf
have conversations abt what she's doing
help me be a better friend, supportive
added spark to hubby's eyes, spring
stop being afraid & resistant, be self donative
opportunities for frndshp
I dnt care what it is we do as long as we do it together.
romantic love: impt part of sacrament of marriage
appreciate how much God loves them
love each other passionately
song of songs
st. catherine of siena refers to God as her passionate lover
intimate, passionate union bet God & humanity: a great mystery
marriage: captures the romantic heart of God
visual: see what needs to be done
God gives you your mate so that you can become who He wants you to be, cannot become that w/o him
2 diff schs of Catholic sexuality:
sex is holy
as long as i think holy thoughts, i don't care what i do with my body (heresies)
sex is the celebration of the sacrament
physical union
JP II: theology of the body: look at each other w/o lust
sacramental power of marital intimacy
1. guard each other's dignity: no name calling
5:1 ratio be conscious
1:20
10:1 ratio of positivity & negativity
be observant
attentive, generous service to each other: I'm here for you, I love you
serving each other
Be each other's mad lover as a sign of His love for you.
Approach lovemaking joyfully.
lovemaking is a recreation of wedding vows.
draw strength from each other
what the sensual rel is all abt
reexp wedding vows
intimacy, communication, trust, self-mastery
create a community of love, a family
become like the trinity
the gift of natural family planning (NFP): a discernment process
approach each other in prayer
a lover's prayer: let me kiss her with Your lips, let me love her with Your undying passion
share bodies and souls in intimate union, talk to God together
powerful prayer life together
ask God how to understand this gift He gave you
Lord, help me be the spouse You want me to be.

Good Things

"All good things have come to me since I no longer seek them for myself." - St. John of the Cross

Have You thanked the Lord enough for all the good things He's sent along your way? It's never too late to say a little thank you today. 

Autobiography of St. Therese

"... your soul is very simple, but when you are perfect, you will be more simple still. The nearer one gets to God, the simpler one becomes.
Now I wish for only one thing -- to love Jesus even unto folly! Love alone attracts me." - The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux: The Story of a Soul 

What is one thing your soul is wishing for? 

"The Lord is a Rock upon which I stand; He teaches my hands to fight and my fingers to war. He is my Protector and I have hoped in Him." - The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux: The Story of a Soul

Where do you get your protection and hope? In your darkest and scariest nights, look up and make a silent prayer. Someone listens... :D

"The power of prayer is really tremendous. It makes one like a queen who can approach the King at any time and get whatever she asks for.
For me, prayer is an upward leap of the heart, an untroubled glance towards heaven, a cry of gratitude and love which I utter from the depths of sorrow as well as from the heights of joy. It has a  supernatural grandeur which expands the soul and unites it with God."  - The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux: The Story of a Soul

Prayer is a two-way communication between the one praying and God. It should be as indispensable as taking a bath to cleanse one's body. We pray to commune with God and cleanse our souls among other reasons. "Protect your sacred half hour, and your sacred half hour will save you." - Father Ignacio Larranaga

Who do you run to when your soul needs saving?

Peace

"The Lord gives us peace but will never leave us in peace." - shared quote during my 1st Desert Day this year

Anything bad doesn't come from God. It comes from the enemy. Doubts and fears included. But if you are already at peace and You receive God's nudge, He wants you to go out of your comfort zones and stop being complacent. Gumising ka raw! Zap out of this zombie-like existence! :D

Are you at peace? If not, go back to the Prince of Peace, and He will give you the peace you need. Kahit pa rest in peace yan, walang problema dapat. :D

Discernment

Woke up at dawn (past one) because I slept in front of my laptop while trying to rest from work last night. Hmmm...

God has a message for me regarding my dilemma. He wanted me to discern about this major decision I am about to make. With my busy sched at work this summer, I hope I can hear His voice clearly during the weekend in my first Desert Day this year. Yikes! I have yet to find the place in Googlemaps.

I am excited for Your plans, Lord!

P.S. God answered my prayer right away. He confirmed it through the first verse I read. Thank You, Lord!

Mi Vita

My life doesn't make sense apart from God.

Orientation Part 2

I only have three classmates today. I wonder what happened to the other attendees who signified to join. And I wonder if I become a guide mysef if I will lose interest or motivation when the participants don't feel like attending or participating anymore.

The good thing about the small size is I get to share more of myself. Even my mom knows that I thrive in small groups.

I realized during the session today (through one of the prayers) that I cannot save the entire world. I have to curb the messianic complex in me. And I have to surrender my entire life to Christ yet again-- all aspects of my life.

Reflection Questions

*Questions to ponder on:
1. Is praying hard or easy?
2. Have you experienced existential emptiness or vacuum?

Praying is both hard and easy for me. Praying is hard when it is not yet part of one's system. Hard when the heart is in chaos and not at peace. Hard whenever I run or turn away from God. Whenever I hide from His face. Whenever I have tampuhan with Him. Hard when He doesn't seem to be listening. Harder when He is silent or hiding His face from me. But the truth is, no matter how I feel about God, it is not He who distanced Himself from me but the other way around. Praying is easy when it has become a habit. It can be like oxygen for some people. You cannot live without it. Praying is a way to communicate and develop an intimate relationship with God; praying is a way to enter His presence, to connect with Him soul to soul, just as having conversations with one's OTL.

I have experienced the existential vacuum once in a while. St. Augustine even aptly puts it into writing, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." God created a vacuum in our hearts that only He can fill. But there came some points in my life when I still feel the emptiness even though I am very near God and actively serving in Church. Maybe because I inadvertently got drowned in all my services at the expense of my personal relationship with God. Or I have put other gods before Him.

I am sorry for the times I hurt You, Lord.

PLW Cycle 4 1st Session

A silent vow to myself: I will strive to attend all the 15 sessions for my last cycle as a student of prayer and life...

Notes from my first Filipino session. I had to instantly translate some words to English inside my head to understand them better:
Para maunawaan ang buhay, dapat itong maranasan.
Matutong manalangin habang nananalangin.
Hihilumin ng PLW ang sugat sa puso mo, patatahimikin ang kaguluhan ng kaluluwa, tatanggalin nito ang iyong kalungkutan.
The PLW guides have to be loyal to the manual so that the glory of God will surface; their humility tested.
Prayer is not an exchange of words but establishing a rapport.
Prayer doesn't always need words.
Praying is putting yourself in the presence of God.
The human sickness is continuing loneliness because of lack.
You have everything but you lack everything.
There's an endless well in you which cannot be filled.
Who will fill the lack? Only God!
How? Through prayers.
Do the silencing exercise (pagasanay sa pananahimik) to remove tension and enter into the presence of God.
Silence is not prayer but preparation for prayer.
The God of Peace will calm us, our fears and worries.
Jesus is in your midst knocking at your doors.

*Questions to ponder on:
1. Is praying hard or easy?
2. Have you experienced existential emptiness or vacuum?

My Application Letter

Sharing my application letter last November 26. Short and direct to the point, I hope.

I am writing to apply as a PLW guide not because I had attended the workshops thrice already, but because of the desire God planted in my heart when I first attended one of the sessions. Even though my personality doesn't fit a missionary because of my innate introversion and resistance to changes, I am saying yes to God as an act of obedience because the PLW Workshops coincide with the LOJC's (Light of Jesus Community) mission of making disciples for Christ.