Reflection Questions

*Questions to ponder on:
1. Is praying hard or easy?
2. Have you experienced existential emptiness or vacuum?

Praying is both hard and easy for me. Praying is hard when it is not yet part of one's system. Hard when the heart is in chaos and not at peace. Hard whenever I run or turn away from God. Whenever I hide from His face. Whenever I have tampuhan with Him. Hard when He doesn't seem to be listening. Harder when He is silent or hiding His face from me. But the truth is, no matter how I feel about God, it is not He who distanced Himself from me but the other way around. Praying is easy when it has become a habit. It can be like oxygen for some people. You cannot live without it. Praying is a way to communicate and develop an intimate relationship with God; praying is a way to enter His presence, to connect with Him soul to soul, just as having conversations with one's OTL.

I have experienced the existential vacuum once in a while. St. Augustine even aptly puts it into writing, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." God created a vacuum in our hearts that only He can fill. But there came some points in my life when I still feel the emptiness even though I am very near God and actively serving in Church. Maybe because I inadvertently got drowned in all my services at the expense of my personal relationship with God. Or I have put other gods before Him.

I am sorry for the times I hurt You, Lord.