PLW Coordinator

As of November 15, I have officially said yes to God's anointing to be a PLW Coordinator for my third cycle next year. And if this will be the cause of another rift, that means that the friendship is not worth salvaging a whit. So help me, God!

As a PLW Coordinator, my goal should be to have a perfect attendance to serve as a role model to others. I entrust my health to You, my Lord.

Desert Day Journey

One of the sweetest messages I received over the weekend: "You were a grace for us in our journey. Thank You! God bless." :D

A message from my PLW guides after our Desert Day. I was deeply moved!

Still not sure if it is the desire of my heart to be a future guide. It just piques my interest. I learned that there will be a year-long (or one and a half years) training for future guides. Yikes! 

Before thinking of being a guide, I need to have my PLW take three by January. Not even sure if my schedule will even allow that to happen.

The desire of my heart is to preach and teach. Is the offer still good next month? Have to cope with a lot of changes in the community again, so help me, God!

Church Commitment

PLW 214: "Belonging to a Church is not a privilege but a commitment." - PLW 14th session, Leaving the Nets

How committed are you to your Church? Are you still the churchgoer who repeatedly asks "What can the Church do for me?" or have you grown in spiritual maturity and asked the question, "What can I do for my Church and for God?" :D

St. Paul: "Woe unto me if I don't spread the Gospel!" How creative are you in proclaiming the Good News? :D

My Second PLW Testimonial

        “Each of us is a bearer of spiritual truth.”

In the second PLW session, one of our PLW guides reminded my co-participants and me of this grain of truth. I used to be very timid as a student, but ever since I became an educator, I learned that timidity to share one’s thoughts and insights won’t bring me anywhere, and it also hinders me from blessing others, so I eventually learned to ask the right questions in my masters classes and even at work. I bring along that mindset with me whenever I had to attend my PLW sessions, so I share my experiences to my fellow participants even though it sometimes still embarrasses me.

“She searched because she did not know everything.”

I was like Mama Mary on my quest for spiritual truth and for God; that’s why I attended my second PLW cycle. I felt as if there’s still a lot to know about God, and I know that even if I get to read and study a lot about Him, I will only know of Him and of His love more when I’m with my fellow brethren.

“Only the poor can serve the poor.”

I don’t know if a lot will disagree with this, but it rings true in my life. When I was younger, I used to question God why I had to go through what I had gone through. Now that I’m older and more mature in my outlook in life, I can see the bigger picture in God’s grand plans.

I had to go through my series of childhood trauma so that I can minister to young children for five straight years (in preschool) and longer (at church).

I had to go through one heartache after another so that I can better handle and pastor my own Care Group.

I had to go through poverty so that I can minister more effectively and feel more compassion towards the poor.

I had to go through a series of sexual harassment and spiritual warfares so that I can better understand the women in crises, esp. sexually abused women.

Now, whenever adversities strike me like lightning, I don’t question God with a why anymore. I just ask Him the question, “Lord, what do You want me to learn from these experiences?”

     “If you are reconciled (with God and with yourself), you become messengers and bearers of the Gospel.”

       Being in the Light of Jesus Community for more than four years now, I can say that I have already reconciled with myself and God. I’ve come in terms of who I really am (a daughter of God); that’s why I can subtly evangelize people through my writing (both in print and online). I’m just proud to be a missionary writer used by God.

Desert Day Spells Pilgrimage

"To go to the desert is to go on a pilgrimage, like the people of God who searched for the face of God." - PLW, Encounter Prayer Handbook :D

Simply excited for my second desert day next week! Excited to revisit all my favorite places and to commune with all the flowers, trees, insects, birds and all His other creations. PLW testimonials done! :D

Community Discussion

This should be called community meditation. But I was tempted to take part in the community discussion last night at PLW (Prayer and Life Workshops).

One of my diligent classmates raised the point on mendicancy. He supports it. While I already composed my thoughts and wanted to take part in the discussion, I opted to keep silent. Several others aired their views and opinions. It was time for community meditation after all, not community discussion. So I'm just going to air my views here. Thanks to this free space, God! And thanks to the freedom of speech in my country!

Based on my research as a missionary writer, it is the duty and responsibility of every Christian to practice the spiritual and corporal acts of mercy. I already did my part except for welcoming a homeless into my house since I don't have a house to call my own in the first place. Having been a committed servant in one of the ministries which cater to the needs of street children, we're advised not to give money to the people living in the streets because that will just reinforce them to continue doing so.

To give or not to give? Just listen to the voice of God that speaks to your heart and soul...

Do Your Share

PLW 213: "Offer a cup of consolation to the sad and depressed. Search out the unpopular. Be where there is human loneliness."

Looking forward to my second Desert Day on the 23rd!
Papa God, I'm super excited for the message You'll have for me. Surprise me again, Lord! :D

Availability More Than Ability

PLW 211: "Only the available can be servants of God."

I learned this from my second and hopefully last Catholic charismatic community. Availability is more important than ability.

All through my academic life, I tried to hone my abilities, capabilities, talents and latent gifts. Only to find out after graduation that availability is far more important.

I'm just grateful that I made myself available to God last 2004, and I have been serving him in various ministries and outreach projects ever since.

Jesus on the Cross

PLW 210: "Love reached its (highest) zenith on the cross... Jesus chases away my dark clouds. Jesus takes out and sweeps away all the rubbish that I don't like. Jesus scrapes away the flaking layers of my personality."

What are you doing in exchange of that immeasurable and unfathomable love? I'm "doing the hard stuff afraid," "walking on waters," going out of my comfort zones, listening to His gentle whispers and striving to say "yes" to Him. :D

Patiently Waiting

PLW 209: "Patience is the art of waiting and knowing. We wait for what we know. And we know that God is essentially free."

Father, I will patiently wait because I know that You only want the best in all areas of my life. Looking forward to the changes in my life next month and in the days to come! :D

My Original Haven

PLW 208: "You are the Essence of my existence, the Founding Source of my being... I cannot escape Your presence... You are the Haven of my rest."

Who is God to you?
My existence only makes sense with Him in the picture. He is my Father and Confidant. My Bosom Buddy. Lord, may I find rest in You as I sleep in Your loving arms tonight.

No Turning Back

I got this message from one of my fellow "pilgrims" in our PLW last night.

"In our services, we have no right to resign because God appointed us there."

Very apt and timely. It was as if God is reassuring me that I'm still doing the right thing albeit the world says otherwise.

Everybody's telling me the same thing over and over again. Choose one ministry only. You're not a superwoman. (That I know for sure. Just look at my stature.) If I were to heed their sensible advice, they would probably frown on my decision. Buckets of tears will also fall. Flimsy friendships (those laid without a solid foundation) will probably shatter.

Two of my friends who gave me advice were insinuating that I drop two ministries and choose one over the others. Unfortunately, it was not my choice if I were confronted with a forced choice. I'd choose the ministries where I'm needed most, and I have two in mind right now.

No ministry is more important than the other. Good thing that God is not forcing me to choose from all the good choices. He has continued to sustain me from all the abuses I (and the other people I allowed) have inflicted on my physical body.

If they really pity me, they'd stop depending on me too much. I don't need anybody's pity. I had wallowed in that for the longest time. And for the longest time, I've been trying to wean them from their dependency. I've been pushing myself to my limits because of the expectations of other people. My gauge has been perfection ever since.

I repeat: The ministry will still be okay, with or without me.

If my physical health is the trade-off for my breakthrough this year, I'd still do the same things over again. It's a necessary sacrifice after all.

Trying to live a life of no regrets!

Psalm 36:8

"How precious, O God, is Your constant love! Mortals take refuge in the shadow of Your wings."


Father, I thank You for Your unconditional love, and I apologize for my imperfect love. I offer all my flaws and weaknesses to You. Use them all for Your greater glory. Thank You for offering me a haven, refuge and solace from the storms of life. Help me seek Your face in all circumstances-- good and bad. In Jesus' name, amen!

On Faithfulness

PLW 207: "If you save your prayer time, your prayer time will save you."

How faithful are you with your prayer time (or sacred half-hour)? After attending PLW (Prayer and Life Workshops Manila), it dawned upon me that half an hour is never enough if one is in love with the Lord. An hour wouldn't even suffice. As King of our lives and Lover of our souls, He deserves more than a fraction of our time, not just our spare time. :D

John 5:30

"I can do nothing of myself."


Father, thank You for the message that I can do all things through Christ. Help me seek Him with all my heart and soul. Thank You for anointing me and helping me follow through with all my commitments. Thank You for my breakthrough this year. May I fulfill my end of the promise to You...  In Jesus' name, amen!

Luke 12:31

"Seek rather the Kingdom and these things will be given to you as well."


Father, help me seek Your righteousness without being too self-righteous. I want all my relationships to work out in the future, so help me accept even if my future partner or friends for that matter won't be right. Help me love them first and foremost. Bless me as I seek Your righteousness. Add the blessings in my life as I pursue my missions. In Jesus' name, amen!

On Identity Rooted in Christ

PLW 106: Of all God's masterpieces, I am the greatest of all. :D

Who are you?
Instead of asking "Who do I think I am?" or "Who am I in men's eyes," don't you think it's best to ask, "Who am I in God's eyes?" That's more than enough to bring smile to your eyes. :D

On Self Acceptance and Reconciliation

PLW 205: "The first step to freedom is self acceptance... The moment we get reconciled, we become messengers and bearers of the Gospel."

Have you freed yourself from unpleasant circumstances and toxic people? Accept the fact that there are some things you can't change. Get reconciled with God and with yourself. Only then will you find yourself writing a Gospel for Christ.

Luke 2:51

"...As for His mother, she kept all these things in her heart."

Father, when I become a mother a few years from now, may I understand all the sacrifices of my own mom, and may I emulate Mary to my child. I want to become Mary in Your eyes-- chaste, obedient, submissive, a gentle spirit, a strong woman and so much more. I'm looking forward to giving birth to my daughter in the future. In Jesus' name, amen!

Diligent Student

Last Sunday, I sat at the back because I told my friend that I didn't want to recite. But guess what I did? I recited. Twice, I think. Or probably thrice, esp. when no one was raising his or her hand.

As a teacher, I know the feeling when no one wants to talk in a group class. You can't help but feel inefficient and incompetent. Yes, it also feels stupid. And it gets stressful in a one-on-one session when the lone tutee doesn't want to answer. So I kept on reciting when nobody wanted to talk or when everyone was shy to share during community meditation. Too bad we can't share our thoughts on other people's sharing. I would have said a lot of things.

Matthew 2:10

"The wise men overjoyed on seeing the star again."

Father, like the wise men, I am also overjoyed whenever I see stars in the sky, but more so when I see a full moon in its majesty. Thank You for sending all these celestial bodies to remind me of You and to give me the much-needed hope amidst the pitch-black sky. May I continue to be amazed by the full moon... In Jesus' name, amen!

Walk the Extra Mile

PLW 204: "She (Mama Mary) searched because she did not know everything. (S)he who searches must walk."

Simply grateful that I learned to search for the answers to some of my questions about the Catholic faith instead of just turning my back on the Church. Simply grateful that I walked (home late alone with God) when I was in need of spiritual nourishment the most. Simply grateful that I walked and found LOJ when I was in the pits (He drew me out of the deep water). :D

Are you searching for something? Learn to walk the extra mile, no matter how inconvenient.

Down on Your Knees

PLW 103: "We only understand Him when we are on our knees."

I got this meaningful expression from my last cycle of PLW. Simply grateful that I have developed a personal relationship with God, the One True Lover of my soul and my Papa God.

After developing an intimate relationship with Him in 2003, I learned to hear His voice more clearly and to discern His will more accurately. Albeit there are still some times in my life when I simply can't comprehend Him and His will (such as what happened during Ondoy and why tragedies strike good people), I'm learning to trust that He knows what's best for me. I am His beloved daughter after all.

Missing PLW

I missed PLW again... for the same reason. Twice in a month. This is getting bad. The paranoid and pessimistic side of me is even thinking of the worst-case scenario. I might get the primary complex (it's called with a different name for adults) of the children I'm serving in one of my ministries. Which reminds me to start taking antibiotics for seven days to combat this persistent cough. I trust that God won't allow me to get sick big time. This is just a matter of bad weather and stress. Toss in psychosomatic disorder in the equation. A weak body is what I get. Specifically a weak immune system.

After my fourth upper CG meeting in Harbour Square, I was tempted to push my tired and sick body to attend PLW. My CG Heads advised me to rest again. The obedient side of me happily obliged. But the obstinate side of me wanted to get down the LRT station to find my way to EDSA and transfer to the MRT station. I even contemplated on alighting in Roosevelt Station when I was already in Blumentritt. Too bad I didn't think about that earlier. Hahaha! Pasaway talaga!

I guess I know why God asked me to rest again. He wanted me to avoid the distraction I saw at the Feast. A new guy from the community made me smile today. Thank God for sending me inspirations to write more articles and to publish books in the future.

PLW 202: Holiness

"Holiness is a loving response to God's declaration of love."

I will strive to be holy even though it's very inconvenient on my part because my final destination is in Heaven. :D

PLW 201: Love

"Love grows from just one look -- a moment of forgetting oneself."

I thought love at first sight won't be true in my case... until I first saw Nicole and Nigel (cute babies in the shelter). God must have felt the same thing when He created you and me. :D

Welcome Note

I welcome all my curious followers and avid readers to my fourth public blog. Supposed to launch this next month. But seems as if some dreams can't wait to be fulfilled. One more blog to brew in the head!

I'm thinking of naming this blog either PLW Take Two or My Sacred Half Hour. I was about to choose the former, but others might not know what PLW means. This blog is about my Prayer and Life Workshops, all the learnings and insights I get every Sunday after church services and CG (cellgroup) meetings. After several months, when I'm done with the workshop, I can write more about my sacred half-hour or prayer time. Or even about God's messages to me. God's whispers as we call them in the community.

Happy reading again!

Isaiah 41:9

"and I said, 'You are My servant; I have chosen you and will not cast you away.'"

Father, I thank You for choosing and anointing me once again and for helping me recognize and heed Your call. Thank You for all the wonderful missions and opportunities to serve in Your ministries. As always, I know and trust that I am not alone in these missions. I can feel Your guiding hand in each and every one of them. I just pray for sustenance, strength of character and a bucketful of patience. Help me recognize when it's finally time to go and move on to another mission. Allow me to acknowledge that I am never and will never be indispensable in any ministry... In Jesus' name, amen!

I Found What I Was Looking For: Love for God’s Poor (My First PLW Testimonial)

Phew! I thought I forever lost this. It just so happened that I posted it in another blog, instead of my own blog. Hehehe! Senior moment!

“He who searches must walk.”

               I have been a member of the Light of Jesus Family for almost four years now, but I joined the PLW (Prayer and Life Workshops) three months ago because I was in search of something — something far deeper, more profound, and more significant in my life. After several weeks of diligent and faithful attendance, I found what I was looking for.

               The PLW was very timely because it coincided with my commitment to serve at the He Cares Foundation and eventually inculcated in me a preferential option for God’s poor. The second session of the workshop coincided with my first day of service at He Cares. Since I work at night, I lacked a much-needed sleep. I was dog tired by afternoon after a fruitful service and fellowship in the morning.

               I learned from one of my PLW sessions that “prayer should challenge life and vice versa.” The PLW challenged my life all right. It challenged me to leave my comfort zone and walk on waters. I experienced walking on waters when I learned to love God’s poor. This was a daunting task for me because I grew up in a punitive environment, which contributed to my being fearful, anxious, and insecure. It dawned upon me that I had so much difficulty embracing God’s poor all through the years because I don’t personally know them at all. Some of them are so messed up that it’s hard to see God’s face in them. Most of them are even “fruits of moral and family disintegration.” Now that I know at least some of them, I can say that I’m learning to love them gradually — in small, baby steps — at a pace I’m very comfortable with. I am slowly unveiling God’s face in each and every one of them every time I serve at He Cares.

               “Only a poor person can serve the poor.” My family was financially and spiritually poor while I was growing up, so the face of poverty is not novel to me. In fact, it’s so familiar that I refuse to stare it in the face any longer, but here I am, serving at He Cares Foundation where God sent me to cater to the needs of the street children. I saw the need to serve them, so I decided to stay. Now, I look at poverty in a different light, and I can say that I can stare it in the face without flinching anymore. Because of the PLW, I encounter God’s love in the silence of my heart. Since I reside in Christ and witness love grows, I strive to transcend His love to the poor children entrusted to me.

               I bask in God’s love every Saturday afternoon and during my sacred half-hour (prayer time), and this kind of love lasts until Saturday morning. The superficial “existential loneliness” is either put aside, forgotten, or erased, and I find myself falling in love with God’s poor over and over again.