My Second PLW Testimonial

        “Each of us is a bearer of spiritual truth.”

In the second PLW session, one of our PLW guides reminded my co-participants and me of this grain of truth. I used to be very timid as a student, but ever since I became an educator, I learned that timidity to share one’s thoughts and insights won’t bring me anywhere, and it also hinders me from blessing others, so I eventually learned to ask the right questions in my masters classes and even at work. I bring along that mindset with me whenever I had to attend my PLW sessions, so I share my experiences to my fellow participants even though it sometimes still embarrasses me.

“She searched because she did not know everything.”

I was like Mama Mary on my quest for spiritual truth and for God; that’s why I attended my second PLW cycle. I felt as if there’s still a lot to know about God, and I know that even if I get to read and study a lot about Him, I will only know of Him and of His love more when I’m with my fellow brethren.

“Only the poor can serve the poor.”

I don’t know if a lot will disagree with this, but it rings true in my life. When I was younger, I used to question God why I had to go through what I had gone through. Now that I’m older and more mature in my outlook in life, I can see the bigger picture in God’s grand plans.

I had to go through my series of childhood trauma so that I can minister to young children for five straight years (in preschool) and longer (at church).

I had to go through one heartache after another so that I can better handle and pastor my own Care Group.

I had to go through poverty so that I can minister more effectively and feel more compassion towards the poor.

I had to go through a series of sexual harassment and spiritual warfares so that I can better understand the women in crises, esp. sexually abused women.

Now, whenever adversities strike me like lightning, I don’t question God with a why anymore. I just ask Him the question, “Lord, what do You want me to learn from these experiences?”

     “If you are reconciled (with God and with yourself), you become messengers and bearers of the Gospel.”

       Being in the Light of Jesus Community for more than four years now, I can say that I have already reconciled with myself and God. I’ve come in terms of who I really am (a daughter of God); that’s why I can subtly evangelize people through my writing (both in print and online). I’m just proud to be a missionary writer used by God.

Desert Day Spells Pilgrimage

"To go to the desert is to go on a pilgrimage, like the people of God who searched for the face of God." - PLW, Encounter Prayer Handbook :D

Simply excited for my second desert day next week! Excited to revisit all my favorite places and to commune with all the flowers, trees, insects, birds and all His other creations. PLW testimonials done! :D

Community Discussion

This should be called community meditation. But I was tempted to take part in the community discussion last night at PLW (Prayer and Life Workshops).

One of my diligent classmates raised the point on mendicancy. He supports it. While I already composed my thoughts and wanted to take part in the discussion, I opted to keep silent. Several others aired their views and opinions. It was time for community meditation after all, not community discussion. So I'm just going to air my views here. Thanks to this free space, God! And thanks to the freedom of speech in my country!

Based on my research as a missionary writer, it is the duty and responsibility of every Christian to practice the spiritual and corporal acts of mercy. I already did my part except for welcoming a homeless into my house since I don't have a house to call my own in the first place. Having been a committed servant in one of the ministries which cater to the needs of street children, we're advised not to give money to the people living in the streets because that will just reinforce them to continue doing so.

To give or not to give? Just listen to the voice of God that speaks to your heart and soul...

Do Your Share

PLW 213: "Offer a cup of consolation to the sad and depressed. Search out the unpopular. Be where there is human loneliness."

Looking forward to my second Desert Day on the 23rd!
Papa God, I'm super excited for the message You'll have for me. Surprise me again, Lord! :D

Availability More Than Ability

PLW 211: "Only the available can be servants of God."

I learned this from my second and hopefully last Catholic charismatic community. Availability is more important than ability.

All through my academic life, I tried to hone my abilities, capabilities, talents and latent gifts. Only to find out after graduation that availability is far more important.

I'm just grateful that I made myself available to God last 2004, and I have been serving him in various ministries and outreach projects ever since.

Jesus on the Cross

PLW 210: "Love reached its (highest) zenith on the cross... Jesus chases away my dark clouds. Jesus takes out and sweeps away all the rubbish that I don't like. Jesus scrapes away the flaking layers of my personality."

What are you doing in exchange of that immeasurable and unfathomable love? I'm "doing the hard stuff afraid," "walking on waters," going out of my comfort zones, listening to His gentle whispers and striving to say "yes" to Him. :D

Patiently Waiting

PLW 209: "Patience is the art of waiting and knowing. We wait for what we know. And we know that God is essentially free."

Father, I will patiently wait because I know that You only want the best in all areas of my life. Looking forward to the changes in my life next month and in the days to come! :D

My Original Haven

PLW 208: "You are the Essence of my existence, the Founding Source of my being... I cannot escape Your presence... You are the Haven of my rest."

Who is God to you?
My existence only makes sense with Him in the picture. He is my Father and Confidant. My Bosom Buddy. Lord, may I find rest in You as I sleep in Your loving arms tonight.

No Turning Back

I got this message from one of my fellow "pilgrims" in our PLW last night.

"In our services, we have no right to resign because God appointed us there."

Very apt and timely. It was as if God is reassuring me that I'm still doing the right thing albeit the world says otherwise.

Everybody's telling me the same thing over and over again. Choose one ministry only. You're not a superwoman. (That I know for sure. Just look at my stature.) If I were to heed their sensible advice, they would probably frown on my decision. Buckets of tears will also fall. Flimsy friendships (those laid without a solid foundation) will probably shatter.

Two of my friends who gave me advice were insinuating that I drop two ministries and choose one over the others. Unfortunately, it was not my choice if I were confronted with a forced choice. I'd choose the ministries where I'm needed most, and I have two in mind right now.

No ministry is more important than the other. Good thing that God is not forcing me to choose from all the good choices. He has continued to sustain me from all the abuses I (and the other people I allowed) have inflicted on my physical body.

If they really pity me, they'd stop depending on me too much. I don't need anybody's pity. I had wallowed in that for the longest time. And for the longest time, I've been trying to wean them from their dependency. I've been pushing myself to my limits because of the expectations of other people. My gauge has been perfection ever since.

I repeat: The ministry will still be okay, with or without me.

If my physical health is the trade-off for my breakthrough this year, I'd still do the same things over again. It's a necessary sacrifice after all.

Trying to live a life of no regrets!

Psalm 36:8

"How precious, O God, is Your constant love! Mortals take refuge in the shadow of Your wings."


Father, I thank You for Your unconditional love, and I apologize for my imperfect love. I offer all my flaws and weaknesses to You. Use them all for Your greater glory. Thank You for offering me a haven, refuge and solace from the storms of life. Help me seek Your face in all circumstances-- good and bad. In Jesus' name, amen!